Captain, oh my Captain!

I can't believe Robin Williams is dead, and that he killed himself in such a terrible fashion.  I've loved him since his Mork and Mindy days and he seemed like such a Teddy bear, to think he was so sad with no one who could reach him... In high school I had a friend and one night after a dance show her boyfriend broke up with her and she said she would kill herself that night.  I made her promise me that no matter what she would wait until the next day, she had to promise to see me the next day at school and if she still felt she had to kill herself I wouldn't stop her but she had to wait until morning.  She promised.  And time, tears and sleep removed the cutting edge.  Where were Robin's friends?  Was there no one who could make you promise to wait until morning?  Of course, yours was a long battle, and now that demonic sadness is washing over the land.  So sorry you're gone, Robin, sleep sweet.  And thank you.

(image from http://favimages.net/image/458855/)

  

Consider the lemming

Definitely ennui.  Hell is repetition, as far as I'm concerned.  Mind you, I can do many repetitive tasks but there's always a goal and the pleasure of finishing.  Not so when your job has become endless repetition with no carrot in sight and only the thank you of a pay cheque.  

(the above poem is from Consider the Lemming by Jeanne Steig, illustrated by William Steig)

So, continuing the story, what to do?  I very seriously considered creating my own dog treat business, investigating the farmer's market and other places my treats could be sold.  But then Mom said, "What about a bed and breakfast?" which was the original plan 11 years ago before I got my safe and comfy job.  I love to bake, we both enjoy a very clean home, we know what we like in a B&B, I'm uber organized, Mom's super capable with home repairs, we know all about excellent customer service, we have the determination... why shouldn't we succeed?  And so the ball was set in motion and started racing down the hill:  in 4 months time we went from boring to thrilling and what a wild adventure it was!  Previously I posted about our tick experience: well, that was while we were hunting for a B&B in Prince Edward County.  We also hunted around Leamington and Rondeau Provincial Park, but this area is very flat and business seems very seasonal and the winters must be very lonely.  So we narrowed our search and saw a lot of places but there was always something crucial missing.  It was becoming a little discouraging and then, finally.... but I'll continue in the next post!  : }  

~~to be continued~~

Building a flying machine

Over the last few months, since March, I've been hard at work re-inventing my life.  I'm sorry that I haven't been sharing all the ups and downs here, the journey as it unfolded, but I think I have the time now to tell my story.

  So let's start at the beginning, rewind to March:

Have you ever been going along in your life, ho-hum, knowing things could be better but content to just carry on, status quo?  All wrapped up in the little dramas of your day-to-day?  And then all of a sudden your status quo gets turned on end and you find yourself at the cliff's edge?  That's where I was, at the cliff's edge wondering what my next move should be as a result of my job going from dull to stripped of anything worthwhile, boring as Hell and physically damaging. 

  I am not a zombie, and have always disdained those who live like zombies, mindlessly carrying on, indifferent.  So I was a bit surprised by life's little slap in the face telling me to wake up, this is not all you are, be what you want to be.

So of course I looked for a bit of help in books and into my hands fell "The Passion Test" by Janet and Chris Attwood.  At first the many inclusions of "God" threw me off (no need to complicate matters with imaginary friends) but as I went deeper there's good sense in what they've written.  Here are the best 3 exercises and how they helped:

Good exercise #1:  Creating a list of what's important to me, my passions, and then prioritizing the list.  This was very helpful, making it clear I need to make something and I like tasks with a clear start, finish and directions.  How do you prioritize?  Write down 10-15 passions and then pretend if you could only have Passion #1 OR #2, which would you pick?  Take the winner and ask the same question with Passion #3 and keep going down the list.  Then, with your most important passion removed from the list, do the same with the next, and so on... In the end, you have your passions in order of importance.

Good exercise #2:  Writing the speech that my best friend would read at my 80th birthday party (or funeral, but the book avoids that morbidity).  This was eye-opening, making me realize I would be terribly regretful if at the end of my years I did nothing but remain in my current career.

Good exercise #3:  Creating a list of my assets.  This was very calming, putting on paper a list of all the qualities I have right now that would make it likely for me to succeed... when I finally decide what I want to do.  (No, you do NOT write a list of all the things that would make it LESS likely for you to succeed, this exercise is meant to be empowering.) 

After the initial excitement, I found myself walking in a wasteland of thought, overwhelmed by the need for change and uncertain which direction I should go.  Everything was foggy, my greatest possible "job" passion (creating critters) isn't feasible as an income-maker and my other options weren't clear.  I kept rubbing that crystal ball but it stayed murky...  The help I teased out of "The Passion Test" was certainly great, but no road map came out of it.  I was still waiting for my "Aha!" moment.
  So, I knew I needed a change, a big career change.  I knew I needed to make physical things in order to feel happy.  And I knew I had many personal qualities that would make it highly likely for me to succeed in my chosen new life...  but what WAS that life?  I didn't know... yet.

~~to be continued~~

Butterfly outlaws

Law-breakers that we are, we grow “noxious weeds” along the back of the house (milkweed has been classified as a noxious weed where we live and "must be destroyed").  Our reward:  we are blessed with Monarchs!!! 

Since our kitchen window is right over the plants, we can see when the Monarchs come flitting about and so yesterday I went out with my camera... Trying to photograph a butterfly on a windy day as it dances about the garden is quite a challenge, but the butterfly always came back to the milkweed and I believe laid eggs on the underside of leaves!  Eventually (what did we do before digital cameras?!) I actually managed to capture a few good pictures!

Since records have been kept (going back about 20 years), last year the number of Monarchs making it to their winter destination in Mexico fell 59%, the lowest on record.  So help them out!

Change is afoot!

I've got big news but it's still in the works so for the meantime I'm just going to say I've actually had a chance to read (basically a picture book but still) a book:  Ghosts Caught on Film by Dr. Melvyn Willin.

But a hint of my news is also represented in this selected image, a ghost in a library... Boo!

Also please read the panel on the left from an article printed in the April 2014 issue of the Humm.  It speaks about the importance of trees to our health and the health of the planet.  If you need material for a letter to voice your opinion on the importance of protecting wild forested areas, I'm sure Diana Beresford-Kroeger would be pleased that her words helped.  

  

YUCK!!! Ticks!!!

Disgusted?  YUCK!!!  Willow had two of these things on her!!!  I used a Tick Twister to get them off, which worked very well (thank you, Dodo) and put them in a little jar.  Since one was quite large, I decided to bring them to the vet to ID them... yes, they were Deer Ticks and so I asked my vet to send them to be tested for Lyme disease.  

(This isn't Willow but this is what it looked like.)

And f!{%&*k!!!!  The test came back positive for Lyme!  I'm so upset!  And so disappointed that I didn't spot them sooner!  So now she's on 28 days of antibiotics and should be okay but what a scary thing to go through. 


Here's my Willow.

Where did we pick up the ticks?  We were on vacation in Prince Edward County, Ontario, mostly in and around Picton.  We probably got the ticks near the edge of a forest where there was a lot of deer poop.

 There was a lovely cemetery to walk in... where there was a posted sign:  "Dog lovers:  we have already seen ticks in this area, be aware and check your pets."

   The map below is from 2002 and shows Lyme cases in Ontario and things are only getting worse... it's a given that ticks will become more and more apparent this side of the border, all along the warmest parts... cottage country!

Everyone really has to become aware of this nasty issue and be smart about ticks!!!  Prevention is the only good answer, Lyme is such a terrible debilitating disease if it goes unchecked and becomes a chronic problem.   

If only I created in the studio as fast as in the kitchen!

Slowly, slowly,very slowly creeps the garden snail... and me.  Finally, finally I sanded the 3 papier maché masks for the bears and painted them a first coat of pure white.  I think they look pretty amazing and it's incredible how durable they are!  And patient!  The three bears, also incredibly patient, are now free to be finished up as I no longer need their heads to safely construct the masks.

In the kitchen, I've been experimenting, mostly with great success.  Here is the Carrot Cake Bars recipe, which actually has cheese cake swirls in it.  Yes, it is very good, and easy.  The only thing I changed was that I left off 1/2 cup sugar and used 2 tablespoons of honey instead in the carrot cake part of the recipe.  Give it a try!